Be prepared to be astounded by talent that is bigger than the Beatles, with more moves than JT, more glamorous than Fergie and funkier than Kanye West. Not since Kelly, Beyonce and Michelle teamed up to form Destiny’s Child has a trio had so much promise. Music fans unite, the wait is over as BB08 presents Travis, Terrence and Ben, linking up for their very own boy band… they are The Bald and the Beautiful!
Terrence, Travis and Ben have bonded over their shared musical prowess. Their handle on lyrics such as “bop bop bop shu wannie wanni” had HMs in complete awe. It was flawless lyrical genius like you have never seen before.
There’s been numerous practices through out the day today, as a simple song progressed from a pastime to a full blown performance. Terrence guided the boys in developing topical lyrics and Ben used his previous band experience to spout knowledgeable words such as falsetto. While Travi was born for the role of soprano and was keen to step up to the spotlight, he wanted to be the Beyonce while Terrence and Ben were stuck with back up.
“You could use the word joke and bloke,” Terrence suggested, and decided the group’s first song needed to be a anthem about himself in all his hilarity. “Terrence is an old bloke … just ask him he’ll tell you a joke,” Terrence rhymed.
Ben, who has a background in music, led the development of the “bops” into “oh’s”. It was a bold move, but his band members liked his style. “I’ve got the line,” Terrence announced like he’d just discovered a solution to global warming. “We tell him, do not despair, we don’t care, he has no hair,” Terrence beamed, proud of his poetic prose.
Ben had a vision. He knew where the band was destined to travel and he wanted to make sure it was a shared goal. “Terrence, I don’t want to be one of those mediocre bands, I sort of want to change the world with our music,” Ben revealed as he gazed into the distance, a picture of his future playing out in his mind. “We don’t want to sell out … we’re not going to sell out. It’s all about the music for us,” Travis conceded, joining Ben’s emotive stare. Terrence was on board and the group was not going to look back.
They rehearsed with the dedication and determination of Olympic athletes destined for glory. These boys were serious about their group and could no doubt see womens’ underwear flying at them from a packed crowd in a sell-out stadium performance, in no time.
Terrence told the boys that in order to keep the band protected, they had to try to keep their rehearsals away from the other HMs. “We’ve got to keep the fans away,” Ben agreed, straightfaced about the danger that screaming clawing fanatics might cause. “The fans are going to be immense, I can feel it,” Travis wholeheartedly agreed. “It’s the groupies I’m worried about,” Terrence revealed.
“I can see there are going to be old ladies at bingo chucking their bras at Terrence. There are going to be uni students chucking their bras and textbooks at Benny…” Travis envisaged. “And the Wiggles are going to lose their crowd to you Trav,” laughed Terrence, as he undoubtedly pictured said bingo hall echoing with applause.
Revolutionary Ben put the icing on the cake. “Maybe we can call ourselves, ‘the Bald and the Beautiful’?!” he suggested. His group members were flabbergasted by the new level of brilliance their humble boy band had now ascended to. “I like it,” declared Travis. “That’s it,” Terrence decided and the boy band to end all other boy bands was born.
The trio spent the day planning outfits (Nobbi’s white dance suit for Terrence, a smart number for Ben and Travis’s leotard for the soprano) and have decided to debut their group to the House at tonight’s family dinner.
We wait with baited breath…
